28. We are all fools in love

"Edward!" Emmett boomed joyfully. "I trust you slept well."


I smiled as I sat down to join him for breakfast. "I believe the weeks of business took their toll. I slept quite soundly, thank you."


"Excellent! I planned on calling at Longbourn this morning. You are welcome to join me," he added hesitantly.


I smirked, as the opportunity was exactly what I had hoped for. "I would be happy to accompany you."


"Perfect. You know, Edward, I am finding there are many advantages to being engaged."


I smiled at his joyful attitude. "Oh really? Enlighten me."


His smile grew even wider. "I am able to visit my betrothed any time I wish."


I smiled and shook my head. "That is indeed an advantage."


"Let us not waste anymore precious time. Shall we?"


"I am at your disposal, Emmett."


~I~I~I~


Emmett was excited as we neared Longbourn. During the entire ride, he had spoken about improvements he intended to make to the Netherfield property. He sought my opinion once or twice, but seemed to have grown in confidence since last November.


The house came into view, and I felt myself growing nervous. I wasn't sure of the reception I would receive from the Swans, and most importantly Isabella.


I had asked the Cullens and Victoria to omit any part I had in arranging for the match with Riley. I did not want her to feel bound to me out of obligation.


I could not bear that.


The duel was one subject of which I was sure she would not have any knowledge.


Instinctively, I placed my hand on my chest where the bandage lay and drew in a deep breath.


"Edward, I know the Swans can be trying. Thank you for agreeing to join me."


I looked at him in earnest. "Emmett, I am happy to accompany you."


The house came into sight, and I steeled myself.


We were met by a man-servant who took our horses. I admit I was afraid that my nerves would expose my intentions before I had a chance to speak to Mr. Swan.


Stepping through the door, the housekeeper greeted us amicably, and we followed her to the sitting room. I could hear raised voices and was worried we had come at a bad time.


"But what is he doing here...?"


I looked at Emmett, who appeared worried.


"Mr. McCarty and Mr. Masen, to see you Ma'am."


I looked around the room for the object of my affections. She was tucked into the corner, her eyes fixed on the floor.


"Mr. McCarty, we were not expecting you this morning, you sly thing." Mrs. Swan glided over to Emmett and showed him to his seat. After assuring he was properly situated, she turned and looked at me for a moment. With a dismissive tone, she said, "Mr. Masen, I suppose you are welcome too."


Dismissing me, she took her seat and began to prattle on about a letter she received from her youngest daughter.


I listened, with polite disinterest, as I gazed at Isabella. She had yet to meet my eye, and I was growing more fearful by the minute.


Could she have altered her opinion?


My heart clenched painfully, and I could bear it no longer. Turning to gaze out the window, I tried to calm my fears.


"I will never understand why some people fancy themselves so far above their company."


I turned to see Mrs. Swan speaking with Emmett, who looked stricken.


"It is true that her wedding was small, but it would have been much grander if she had been married from home."


"Mama," Miss Swan said, rising from her seat, "It is so lovely outside I feel the need for some fresh air and exercise."


Mrs. Swan looked at her daughter. "Oh very well, but I would much rather stay home."


She turned to Emmett. "My poor nerves, I feel I am better off here."


"Excellent!" Emmett stood. "Would any of the other Miss Swans care to join us?"


Miss Rosalie was pulling Isabella with her, while the younger girls declined.


~I~I~I~


We walked in uncomfortable silence, while the engaged couple ahead of us chatted happily.


I looked at Isabella several times, but never caught her eye. She seemed to be fidgeting with her gloves, causing my anxiety to increase.


I knew she was a remarkably intelligent woman, who at times could be quite passionate in defending her opinion. This docile woman beside me was a stranger, and it frightened me.


A sudden icy shiver ran up my spine.


Could she know everything?


My mind raced thinking of her words and gestures briefly before her departure from Lambton.


Had she been saying goodbye?


"Mr. Masen," she began timidly. "I have been very selfish, sir, and must beg you accept my thanks for not only my self, but my whole family. They know not to whom they are indebted."


Everything suddenly became painfully clear, and the meaning behind her words struck me to my core.


It was duty, plain and simple.


Trying to find my words I stopped, and looked at her in earnest.


"Isabella," I choked out in spite of the tears which threatened to overwhelm me. "As much as I respect your family, I believe I only thought of you. Please believe me when I say this, your suffering caused me pain as I had never in my life experienced. The death of my parents was indeed harsh, but seeing you helpless and sobbing... it was within my power to make things right and so I went, for you."


Her eyes blinked rapidly and tears fell softly down her cheeks.


"Please tell me that you still love me. For I could not bear it if you no longer cared for me."


She quickly wiped the tears from her cheeks and looked up at me with fierce determination.


"Edward, my love for you could never change. Without you, life would be empty, tired, and lonely. I could scarcely hope that you still wanted me after everything you have suffered."


This time I laughed as the meaning of her words became clearer. "Are we doomed to so willfully misunderstand one another?"


She smiled, though sadly. "I was so frightened that I might lose you."


Taking her hand, I softly caressed it before tugging her to me sharply. She gasped in shock, no doubt due to my roughness. "Isabella." My voice was low and throaty. "We are the most stubborn, ridiculous fools that ever lived."


Wrapping her in my arms, I lifted her to me. I leaned closer and closer, until my lips brushed gently against hers. I was surprised when her mouth parted welcoming me.


Abruptly, I stopped and gently set her back onto the ground. "Isabella, please forgive my behavior. It seems when it comes to you I lose all sense of reason."


She laughed. "Sir, if I may be so bold, your behavior is not at all unwelcome."


I sucked in a harsh breath, as she looked up at me demurely.


Her innocence and unknown passion were driving me insane.


"I shall remember that," I promised.


~I~I~I~


After speaking with Isabella, it was decided that I would ask her father permission upon returning to the house. She seemed nervous and that did nothing to sooth my anxiety.


We located Emmett and Miss Swan, who had conveniently wandered in a different direction.


We finally reached the house and were met by Mr. Swan, who looked impassive. He simply looked at me with a perceptive stare and proceeded to welcome us back. Taking a seat, I was content to have few moments of solitude before asking to speak with Mr. Swan. Sadly he had other ideas.


"Mr. Masen, would you care to join me in my library?" His penetrating stare caused my mouth to run dry.


Swallowing, I nodded and briefly glanced at Isabella, who looked at me with worried eyes.


At the time I had thought Mr. Cullen had been joking about his brother's special regard for what he called, 'his favorite daughter.'


Now I wasn't so sure he had been exaggerating.


"Please, have a seat, Mr. Masen." He motioned to a seat near the fireplace.


After pouring himself a glass of brandy, he politely offered and I declined.


"I believe we need to have a serious discussion." His stern gaze made me more uncomfortable than when my own father had chastised me long ago.


"Yes, sir, I believe we do."


He waited patiently for me to speak.


Gathering all the possible courage I had, "Mr. Swan, I have asked Isabella to be my wife and she has accepted. I humbly request your permission for her hand."


His eyes only widened slightly before his expression again became neutral.


"I admit I am astonished by your request, Mr. Masen. I was under the impression you found my daughter merely tolerable."


I groaned internally, wanting nothing more than to go back in time and right my egregious statement.


"I would like something understood, Mr. Masen. Isabella is very special to me. Since she was a child her, wit and curiosity reminded me a lot of myself. I could not live knowing she was bound forever in a marriage in which she could not respect her partner." He looked at me with a stern glance.


The sick feeling within my heart spread throughout my body, and I trembled. He was going to refuse me. I wanted nothing more than to throw all dignity aside and fall on my knees begging him to reconsider.


"Fortunately, my daughter has chosen a man who, not only loves her unconditionally, but has proven his worth many times over." His expression softened. "I will never be able to repay you for what you did for my youngest daughter, sir. But I will repay the money you laid out for her dowry."


I blinked in utter astonishment. "How...?"


"Oh, come now Mr. Masen! Are really so surprised that I would know? My brother was never so good at keeping secrets from me. As for your proposal, you are the sort of man I would never dare refuse anything! I am just grateful you are a worthy gentleman."


"I thank you, sir. I am indeed surprised at your knowing and hope you will not think me impertinent when I say I will not accept your money. As I told Mr. Cullen, the fault was mine. Had I been more open about Wickham's character, none of this would have happened. I will not be moved."


He chuckled. "Well you are indeed as stubborn as my brother said you were. Very well, I will concede to you on this point. Just remember, Mr. Masen, you may get your way with this, but when dealing with my daughter, be prepared to compromise quite frequently."


We laughed, and he shook my hand jovially. He again offered me some brandy, this time I accepted without hesitation.


~I~I~I~


Isabella was pacing relentlessly when I emerged, looking quite worried. My smile seemed to calm her fears, and she relaxed.


I asked if she could spare a moment with me in private before informing the rest of her family.


Leading me into a sitting room, she directed me to the sofa. Once we were seated I pulled her into a long embrace.


Laughing, she exclaimed, "I take it Papa gave his consent?"


"He most certainly did, although I was made to sweat in fear for several agonizing minutes."


She shook her head, and I took the opportunity to pull the velvet pouch from my pocket. Unlacing the ribbon, I drew out the ring.


Holding her hand, I slid the ring onto her delicate finger, after which I lifted it to my hand and placed a tender kiss on her hand.


"You have made me the happiest of men, Isabella."


At that moment, Mrs. Swan walked into the room. Seeing us in such a close proximity and my hands on Isabella, she retreated quickly.


"Mr. Swan! You must come here immediately. Your favorite daughter is alone with Mr. Masen..."


Her cries became quieter as she sought out her husband. Isabella's cheeks reddened in mortification.


Mrs. Swan reappeared pulling a very amused looking Mr. Swan behind her.


"You see! They are alone and in a compromising position. You must demand he marry her!"


"Why Mrs. Swan, I see no occasion for that." I looked at the man a saw him wink at us.


Isabella's mother became hysterical. "Of course you shall, look!" She pointed toward us. "One scandal is enough for a lifetime. They must marry!"


"You misunderstood me my dear. There is no occasion for me to demand he marry her since they are already engaged."


Mrs. Swan was silent for a moment, her expression was one of disbelief. Suddenly her knees began to give out, and she fell to the floor in a most unladylike manner.


Mortified, Isabella ran to her mother. The commotion drew the other girls, who were soon all standing in the doorway. Calmly, Mr. Swan asked the housekeeper to fetch her smelling salts and to have Mrs. Swan taken to her room to rest.


I couldn't be sure but as they were assisting her from the room, I swore I heard her mumbling,


ten thousand a year."


"Edward, would you join me for a walk? We can stay close to the house." Isabella whispered quietly.


"It would be my pleasure."


"Thank you. I will quickly fetch my bonnet and spencer."


We walked the length of the park in silence. After we reached a comfortable distance, Isabella began to apologize.


"Edward, I am so sorry about Mama, she is just... exuberant."


"You have nothing to apologize for. In fact, I believe I owe you an apology." Her confusion was endearing. "My Aunt," I clarified.


"Ah, yes," she stated.


"How can I possibly make amends for such behavior?" I asked sincerely.


She sighed softly. "I admit she was severe, but I quickly saw it was nothing more than you had ruined her hopes of a marriage between you and her daughter."


"It still showed a sever lack of decorum for her to insult and abuse you in such a way. And here at one time I thought my family so far above yours."


"Well sir, I believe on this point it is safe to say we are both guilty of relatives who embarrass us."


~I~I~I~


I stood waiting for Emmett to compose himself. I suppose the shock of not only my good humor after being in the Swans company, but the news of an engagement had rendered him speechless.


"I... I don't understand. Have you not always argued? How did this happen?" he asked, completely astonished.


"I admit, I admired Miss Isabella from the moment I saw her." He let out a loud snort. "Come now man, after what you said about her?"


He had no idea just how agreeable I had found Isabella that first meeting. I am sure if he knew he would thrash me soundly or call me out.


"I was very wrong, Emmett. I admit that and will spend the rest of my life making it up to her."


He eyed me for a moment before chuckling. "Damn right you will!" He howled with laughter. "For I shall be sure to tell your children and their children, oh and mine as well, that you found your wife only merely tolerable."


I glared at him. "You wouldn't dare."


"I most certain would and I intend to." He chortled. "For this is just to perfect an opportunity to pass up."


"You seem to find much amusement in my suffering."


"Of course," he said, grinning. "You have always been so serious, Edward. I was beginning to think you would never give way."


"I suppose for a time I was lost in simply doing my duty to my family, as well as Pemberley. I didn't realized how withdrawn I had become."


"Well, let us think on more pleasant topics. Such as our good fortune at securing two of the handsomest women in England."


~I~I~I~


We settled on a wedding date two months hence, in early November.


The sisters, who were so close and dear to one another, asked if we were amenable to a double wedding. Neither Emmett nor myself had any objections.


I wrote several letters informing my sister, as well as Jasper and the Major General, of my engagement. With the date set, I hoped both men would be able to attend before the realities of battle called them away once more.


The wedding preparations took up much of Isabella's time. Between the demands of Mrs. Swan, dress fittings, and other such nonsensical arrangements, I was becoming impatient for the wedding to be done with.


I was beginning to understand why couples ran off to Gretna Green.


After a particularly long stretch without my beloved, I asked that we all enjoy a stroll. Miss Swan, who was busy talking with her mother, declined. To my good fortune, only Isabella was disposed to walk out with me.


We strolled through the Longbourn gardens and past the park, into the surrounding forest.


"I will miss these familiar haunts." Isabella spoke wistfully.


"I am sorry to be taking you away from here, but rest assured we will visit, and your family will always be welcome at Pemberley," I replied sincerely.


"I know, Edward, and I am not prone to melancholy, I just... Pemberley is truly beautiful and I cannot wait to explore the grounds of my new home. I suppose it is hard to say goodbye to so familiar a place." She closed her eyes breathing deeply. "The familiar scents of the flowers, the trees. I could wander blind through these woods and never feel lost."


We were quite alone and had been for quite sometime.


Isabella opened her eyes and looked at me in earnest. "This feeling, Edward, it doesn't get any deeper than this does it?"


"Oh, yes it does." With that I took her face in my hands, looking into her eyes for a moment before bringing her lips to mine.


She sighed with contentment, and I began kissing her.


I was gentle at first, but it was not long before my passion was released and all the love and longing poured out from my very soul. Soon my hands began moving up and down her back, the sensation of her nearness sent shivers up my spine.


Her hands found their way into my hair and caressed it in a way the drove my need further into a frenzy.


Our mouths never parted, but continued to explore.


A nagging voice told me I needed to stop, but the feeling was far from satisfied.


It seemed neither of us could break away, for the loss would be too much.


When our lips finally parted, I held her to me, trying to comfort her and myself.


I couldn't think – the feelings were so overwhelming. So I held her there, content with the knowledge she would soon be mine.


~I~I~I~


October came and went, and soon the wedding was upon us. Jasper escorted Alice to Netherfield, and she ran into my arms.


"Edward! I have missed you. Where is Isabella?" she immediately asked.


I chuckled, feigning hurt. "I see who you have really missed."


"Oh, stop it." She slapped my arm playfully.


"It's true, old boy. She talked of no else the entire trip here."


"Jasper Whitlock!" she cried. "You are a traitor, sir."


Jasper looked shocked. "A traitor, Miss Alice? I am no traitor. How shall I punish you for such a speech?"


He winked at me and I decided to play along. "She is much too old to be spanked. Perhaps we should sendt her back to London as her punishment."


Alice gasped. "You wouldn't!"


"Well, as your guardians we most certainly could," Jasper drawled.


"I withdraw my comment then, sir, and beg you to forgive me." She curtsied ridiculously low, which caused Jasper to blush a deep red.


"I concede, madam!" cried Jasper.


I could not help but laugh. My sister was well on her way to becoming a confident young woman.


"Shall we go in then? I am sure Isabella is patiently awaiting your arrival."


I took her but a moment to catch my meaning. "Oh, you two!" And with that she descended the stairs leaving us to our laughter.


More guests arrived, and Netherfield was becoming quite full. I was surprised when the Major General arrived; he had sent me a post with his regrets, informing me he couldn't take leave at this time.


I understood, and was grateful Jasper had been granted leave to attend. So when he appeared I was delighted.


The night before the wedding, Emmett hosted the Swans, as well as his guests to a dinner. We ate and toasted to our forthcoming marriages.


Because of our double wedding, we decided to forgo having a man stand up with us, since for each of us it would have been the other.


With a bright smile, Mr. Swan stood. "I would like to thank you, Mr. McCarty, for your hospitality this evening. I feel blessed to have so much happiness in my life. I propose a toast to the two happy couples, may your marriages be fruitful and your partners tolerable."


The table erupted in laughter and cheers. Isabella, as well as myself, turned bright red. I was getting accustomed to the sardonic wit of my future father-in-law. Putting aside my embarrassment, I smiled and kissed Isabella's hand.


The evening ended, and I bade my bride farewell, with a kiss of promise that tomorrow we would begin our lives together.


After the Swans departed, I bid the party goodnight.


"Edward?" I turned to see the Major General. "Might I have a word with you?"


"Certainly, sir," I agreed.


He produced a worn leather book bound with twine. "Your father bade me give this to you when you were ready. I admit I had not had the opportunity, until now, to present it, but I believe this is the correct time for you to have this."


Astonished, I took the book from him. "Thank you sir."


The older gentleman, known for his bravery and loyalty, seemed overcome by emotion. "Very well... I bid you a good night."


He walked away before I could stop him. I took the stairs to my chamber, and the book felt like a great weight in my hands. What could it possibly be?


I sat by the fire and broke the twine, carefully opening the book.


Inside the cover, I saw my father's familiar handwriting.


As I read on I realized it was my father's journal. The first entries were of Edward Masen's courtship to Lady Elizabeth.


It began with my father lamenting that her family thought him too common for their daughter of noble birth. I could scarcely believe such a thing, and shook my head as I realize some things never change.


After a lengthy courtship, Edward Masen had been successful in overcoming the families' objections.


After the marriage, my father seemed truly happy, as their marriage was a love match unlike the many marriages of convenience their friends endured. Soon the tone of my father's words became more somber as he related the many miscarriages my mother suffered, before finally bringing me into this world.


My father wrote that after my birth he was reluctant to risk her health again, but she begged him to try. It had been their desire to fill Pemberley with the laughter of many children.


But it was not to be, her health never recovered after Alice was born. She died not long after.


I closed the journal, not wanting to read his thoughts at that time. It had been hard enough to witness them.


I thought about Isabella and her health. The thought of losing her was inconceivable.


I settled in bed my, thoughts alight with the precious gift of my father's words.


Sleep had been fitful. A faint glow from the morning light filtered though the heavy curtains.


Knowing sleep would not come again, I resolved to walk out.


Donning my trousers, shirt and great coat, I decided to forgo my neck cloth as the hour was very early, and it was unlikely that I would encounter anyone.


The air was chilled but not so much that I was uncomfortable. Walking through the trees I basked in the silence. Only the occasional meadowlark disturbed the silence. A thick morning mist was rising from the fields, as the sun began to rise it would periodically break through the fog.


Looking ahead, I noticed a person walking in the distance.


Not wanting to encounter any strangers this morning I was tempted to return the way I came. I looked at my surrounding and realized where I was. Although I had not set out to walk to Longbourn, I had unconsciously done so.


As I neared, the figure and coloring of the person felt familiar. I looked closer and realized it was Isabella.


I doubled my effort to reach her, taking her into my arms when we met.


"My love, what are you doing out by yourself?"


"You will probably think I am foolish, but I could not sleep. Though I could ask the same of you, sir," she teased.


"I admit I was restless as well. But Isabella, it would not do to for the bride to catch a cold on her wedding day. May I escort you back to your house?"


"You may indeed, Edward."


As we reached Longbourn, I could hear a shrill voice coming from the house.


"Oh, Mama," Isabella lamented.


Mrs. Swan came through the door. "Where have you been? Oh, my poor nerves! Mr. Swan... Mr. Swan, I have found your favorite daughter. She has been walking out in nothing but her night dress and coat. I swear to you she will be the death of me," she cried.


Mr. Swan appeared. "Well Isabella, I suppose you had to give your mother one more attack of nerves before your departure."


"Papa," she said, laughing. "I couldn't sleep, and I suppose neither could Mr. Masen."


"Very well then. Mr. Masen, thank you for returning my daughter."


"You're very welcome, sir."


As if the concept had just occurred to her, Mrs. Swan realized I was standing next to her daughter.


"Isabella!" she admonished. "You know it is bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding." She pulled Isabella inside.


"No compassion, I tell you! No compassion for my poor nerves."


Mr. Swan smiled. "Well, son, thank you for returning her safely. Now off with you. We will meet at the church in a few hours."


"Thank you, sir." I bowed and walked back toward Netherfield.


~I~I~I~


Isabella sat down in the coach, exhausted. I took my seat and tapped the roof signaling for the coach to depart.


She leaned out toward the window and bade her friends and family goodbye.


Gathering her into my arms, I gently stroked her arms.


"It was a beautiful wedding, Edward."


"It was indeed, my love."


I had never paid much heed to the vows before, but I feel as if..." she trailed off.


I tipped her chin up so she was looking at me. "Tell me, my love," I beseeched her.


"It feels as if we are one soul now, and that everything we knew... our families... it is all second. For I am now yours as you are mine."


I placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "Yes, Isabella. I am yours. And I intend on making good on all my vows."


A look of confusion passed over her face, and I smirked at her. "I promised to care for, cherish and love you. To endow you with all my worldly possessions, and..." I paused, continuing in a low voice, "with my body to worship you, until death do us part."


She shivered in my arms, and I tapped the ceiling once more, urging the carriage to move faster.