Duty and Desire chapter 3: Beginnings

I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.




McCarty house, Grosvenor Square

Loading the trunks took longer than I had expected, we were supposed to have left no later than midmorning. I, however, underestimated Tanya’s ability to leave without making a spectacle of herself. If it was possible to gain attention in any way, you could be sure she would exploit it to the fullest. Not only had she taken a full hour longer than planned to be ready this morning, she had just spent the last hour ordering around and insulting the servants on the right way to arrange her trunks. How many trunks could one person need? Surely she did not require that many dresses, not even Alice traveled with that many.

Ah, Alice…

I was reluctant to leave her, yet she seemed strangely at peace with me going. She even went as far as encouraging me to go. My little sister knew something, yet she was not going to share it with me.

Two weeks prior

Alice and I sat in the Music room. She had just finished playing a new piece she had been practicing.

“Alice, Emmett has asked me to accompany him to Hertfordshire. He is considering an estate in that county and would like my opinion.”

I was afraid to leave. She had been doing so well as of late. I was afraid my absence would cause her to have setbacks, and that was something I was not willing to risk. If she told me she needed me to stay I would cancel my plans with Emmett. Nothing was ever put before Alice; she was my only family, my world.

“If you want me to stay I will cancel my plans immediately.”

I tried to seem as composed as possible; I didn’t want her to feel like a child.

“Edward, I have a feeling this will be good for both of us. Even though the absence will be difficult to bear, I really think you should go.”

She smiled her knowing smile; it was something she inherited from our mother. Our mother had a way of knowing the future, so to speak. She would get a good feeling and her instincts were

almost always right. Alice seemed to have this same ability.

“I have arranged for Jasper to watch over you while I am away. He will protect you.”

Her face lit up at the mention of Jasper’s name.

“Thank you Edward!” She cried with delight.

The Whitlock’s and the Masen’s have been close for generations. Mine and Jaspers fathers were so close that they named Jasper and I guardians of Alice, should anything ever happen to them. Jasper and I have been friends since we were boys, attending school together until we parted ways. Jasper left to the military and I to Cambridge. Even through the separation we remained close. During the difficult time with our parents death Jasper was a calm source of comfort to Alice and I. He was invaluable to me during the dark time with James, a time I wish I could forget.

“Of course, little one, there is no one else I trust like Jasper.”

She was jumping up and down with excitement and ran to me, enveloping me in a hug.

“Thank you, thank you Edward! I could not ask for a better brother.”

She always seemed to make the inadequacy’s I felt disappear.

“You know very well there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, Alice. I would take on the world for you.”

Sighing, she replied. “I know Edward, but it is time for you to find that person that completes you. I can’t be the one holding you back from being happy; it’s not fair to you. I have a feeling you will find what you have been seeking.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Alice, this is about you. I am perfectly content to be your guardian; I have no need of companionship right now.”

Even as I spoke them the words seemed hollow.

“Go Edward, I will be fine, you will write often and we will be in touch. You deserve some happiness.”

A loud crash pulled me from my reverie.

“If you are going to be completely incompetent fools I will have my brother dismiss you,” the harpy trilled.

“We are your betters and as such, I expect you to do the job properly.”

Lord, does she not realize how utterly ridiculous she sounds. Honestly I am surprised Emmett is able to maintain a full staff at all, with what they have to put up with.

Just as she finished her tirade Emmett appeared.

“Tanya! You have no right to berate my staff. If you have a problem you will direct it to me, and I will deal with it. You will apologize immediately.”

Emmett was a tolerant fun loving man yet he was fair and honest. How he and Tanya were related still mystified me.

Narrowing her eyes she directed her attention to the staff.

“My apologies, I will bring up your inadequacies with my brother in the future.”

With that she ran into the house, no doubt embarrassed at being set down by her brother in front of myself and the staff.

Emmett was rubbing his forehead; I honestly didn’t know what I could say. Tanya was his sister and his responsibility until she married. Unfortunately she was rapidly approaching the age where he could not give her away.

In a weary voice, he finally spoke, “Edward I am sorry for the late departure, we will be leaving shortly.”

“There is no need to apologies, Emmett. I have some matters of business I need to attend to before leaving, and I will only be an hour or two behind you. I will be traveling on horseback either way so it would not make sense for you to delay.”

Mentally I added, and there is no way in hell I would be stuck in a carriage with that banshee.

“Your sure Edward, we would not mind waiting for you.”

He gave me a look that said he knew exactly what I was thinking.

“Yes Emmett, I need to see Col Whitlock before leaving. He is caring for Alice while I am in the country. “

Sighing, he reluctantly agreed. He didn’t want to be stuck with her any more than I did.

Boodles

I knew Jasper would be waiting, he was always punctual. I knew there was really nothing I could say to him that he didn’t already know, but it made me feel better knowing we were on the same page. Ever since my parents died, leaving me at the young age of twenty one to assume my place as the head of Pemberley and care for an eleven year old sister. I felt nothing but inadequate; how could I give her the same special childhood our parents gave me? They raised me with the feeling of being loved and supported no matter my choices. I wanted to please them by doing the best job I could for Alice.

Reaching our normal table I sat down. Jasper looked up and nodded, he was contemplating something.

“Jasper,” I greeted him with a smile.

“I know you will watch over Alice and that you will take care of her, I just needed to reassure myself. You know how she has been improving since the incident; I don’t want her to relapse due to my absence.”

Jasper seemed to take a moment before responding.

“Edward, you know I care for Alice. I will make sure she is happy and protected. I would never let anything happen to her.” He seemed to hesitate, as if he was choosing his word carefully.

“Have you given any more thought to bringing her out next summer?”

Ah, so this was what he was asking. Jasper loved Alice, he may think I was unaware but I would be a fool if I was not able to see how he lit up every time he saw her. Yet she was seventeen, and Jasper was twenty-seven like me. I would approve of a marriage between Jasper and Alice, but it was still too soon for her. I decided the time had come to see what his attentions really were.

“Jasper, when do you plan on offering for Alice’s hand?”

As I predicted, his carefully crafted calm cracked and he audibly gasped.

“Edward…I…” He seemed lost for words. And, just as quickly as it left the calm returned, he looked me directly in the eye before responding.

“I was planning on asking her at the end of her first season, that is if she will have me.”

If he only knew.

“Well, I have a feeling that will not be a problem. I couldn’t find a better man for my sister, however, in the mean time; I would like her to enjoy her youth. She has been through too much in her young life.”

Nodding, Jasper agreed and shook my hand.

“Thank you Edward, I know it is difficult to see her grow up, but your parents would be proud of the way you raised her.” I thanked him and got his promise to keep me apprised of Alice’s condition.

I left hoping she was right and I was riding towards my destiny.

Hertfordshire

I had been riding for a few hours, the countryside seemed pleasant enough. I could see Emmett enjoying himself immensely here. I was not hopeful that the people here would be of the caliber he needed in order to maintain a good reputation in town. It was imperative that he establish himself in an estate, surrounded by people with whom he could associate himself with. The wrong sort could do irreparable damage to his social standing. I knew I was being harsh but such was the reality of our world. However, I was willing to wait and make my assessment through observation.

I glanced at the horizon, a storm was moving quickly towards me. I kicked Blackjack into a gallop, eager to get to my destination before I was soaked through. As if someone was listening to my thoughts, the heavens opened and rain began to fall. Thunder and lightening was clashing through the sky. My clothes were soaked, making riding more difficult and uncomfortable. My wet breeches clung to my thighs chafing me as I posted in the saddle. Water was dripping from my hair onto my face. I reached up and loosened my neck cloth, using it to dry my face. I knew Netherfield was not far off, and it was imperative I reach the house soon.

Lost in my thoughts I enjoyed the sense of peace I always gained from riding. The trees became a blur of differing hues of green, all blending to make a peaceful backdrop. I always loved the smell the rain brought out in the trees, that earthy musk, it reminded me of home. Drawing in a deep breath, I thought of my parents who had raised me with a sense of duty and responsibility. My father had taught me the importance of the position we hold in society.

As if unbidden, my father’s words sounded in my ears.

“Lesser men have bent under the pressure we have to bear. Such is our burden and responsibility, not only to our family but to all the families who depend on us.”

And a hefty burden it was. I, as the master of Pemberley, was responsible for the well being of my family, and the tenants who depended on Pemberley for their livelihoods.

As I neared the estate I caught sight of a flash of color up ahead moving in the road. I slowed and caught up quickly. It was a woman, walking in the storm; she was paying no mind to the fact that it was pouring rain. Her face was lifted toward the sky and her arms were stretched out palms up, the drops falling softly against her skin. Her walk seemed almost like a dance, timed with the thunder as it rolled across the countryside. So focused was she on her task, she did not hear me approach. I took the liberty to asses her for injury, and was satisfied that she appeared unharmed. My eyes traveled up as I took in her appearance. She was of petite build; her long brown hair was loose and wet from the storm. On closer inspection I could see that the dress she wore was completely soaked as well. I needed to get her dry as soon as possible. I asked a silent prayer that she was not an escaped lunatic; I was not of the mind to deal with that right now.

“Miss?” I asked as I dismounted.

Her head immediately snapped up, her eyes widened in surprise. On first glance I could tell she was beautiful, yet that is not what drew me to her. Her face was perfect; porcelain skin, red lips, and brown eyes that seemed to go forever.

She was exquisite.

Taking some time to compose myself before going on, I cleared my throat before continuing.

“Can I be of assistance? I am heading to the Netherfield estate, and I would be happy to escort you home.”

She looked at me and our eyes locked, it seemed as if the world stopped. And nothing mattered.

As if determined she responded.

“Sir, I was getting along just fine before you came and I will be fine after you leave.” Her voice was like silver bells, angels could not have sounded better.

She turned and kept walking, obviously believing I would leave her alone. As if I would be so ungentlemanly to leave her unassisted in this storm.

Undeterred by her response, I reached out to grasp her arm.

She stopped, but did not turn around.

“May I be so bold as to ask your name?”

Slowly turning to face me, she replied.

“You, sir, should know better than to ask a lady her name without a proper introduction. You could be a villain or a cad for all I know,” she challenged.

Smiling, I responded.

“Yes, my dear, that is true. While I can safely promise that I am no cad, you should know that not all villains are bad, just misunderstood.”

Her face had a puzzled look as though she was trying to figure me out. Finally she replied.

“My name is Isabella; my father’s estate is not too far from Netherfield.” My heart soared; she was a gentleman’s daughter. I silently thanked Alice for encouraging me to go.

“Well Isabella, my name is Mr. Edward Masen; it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

I needed to know if she felt the same strange pull I was feeling.

Taking her hand I slowly and gently put my lips on her soft ivory skin. It was better than I imagined; it was heaven. She smelled of lavender, I breathed in her scent and felt her tremble beneath my lips. It was a heady feeling knowing I had that kind of effect on her.

Trying not to lose myself completely, I returned her hand.

With an eerily calm voice she responded.

“It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Masen.”

We stared at each others eyes for a moment as if trying to understand this strange cosmic experience. Her lips beckoned me; I needed to feel them, to see if they tasted as good as they looked.

Bending down slowly as to not frighten her, I placed my lips carefully on hers. They were as soft as I had imagined, like rose petals.

I felt like I was home.

I deepened the kiss and she responded in kind. As soon as it had begun it ended.

“Mr. Masen I…”

The moment ended but I would not let her feel uncomfortable with what happened. I offered her my arm and she took it giving me an unexplainable sense of completeness. It was as if I had waited for her my entire life and had finally been reunited with my other half.

The rain has ceased and we started walking in the direction of her house. Neither of us spoke, there was no need. I had no concept of how long it took to reach her home, it could have taken years yet I would not have noticed. We reached her front gate and I bid her farewell.

I was sure about three things as I made my way to Netherfield, Isabella was a gentleman’s daughter, she was stubborn and feisty, and she was perfect for me.


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Boodles is a London gentlemen's club, founded in 1762